I love black thongs
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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