wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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