New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
