upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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