just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
