at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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