i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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