I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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