hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
