I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
