She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
