its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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