I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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