Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
