4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
