i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
