I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
