I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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