then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
