Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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