I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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