Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
