So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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