you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
