did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
