I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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