Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize