i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
