he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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