Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
