she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it glows. i had to have it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
