I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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