He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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