I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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