My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
