dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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