why didn't you poke me back
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
