so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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