Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
