ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
NoShamevember. You game?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
