Swine flu. Run for my life!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize