Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
