I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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