His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
