Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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