Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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