Please, let me fuck your mom
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
