Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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