You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize