Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
