I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So much rum. So many feels.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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