It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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