I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
