jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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