i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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