he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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