just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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