im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
