Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
