What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
