she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Randomize