fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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