Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
