Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
