Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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