You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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