You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
