we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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